ForgivenessWorks
What Schools Can Do…
A teacher is fatally shot by a disgruntled student on the last day of school. A teenager kills another teenager at a birthday party. A six‑year old has a playground argument with a classmate and later fires a gun that kills the classmate.
How do we help bring about a safer tomorrow for our children today?
How do we bridge the chasm separating our community, black and white, Hawaiian and non‑Hawaiian, male and female, poor and rich? Can we reduce (eliminate?) the violence, attack and retribution in our lives? The answer is quite simple if not seemingly trite at first. Forgive. That's it. Forgive and release the energy‑power that can transform lives, heal relationships and create a community where we can cultivate the best there is in each human being. But if the answer is that simple, why is it so hard to do? Why do we choose to hold on to our pain, to suffer, to live a life that pulls down on us rather than lifts us up?
Much of the emotional pain, separation and conflict we experience in life can be traced to our belief that when we perceive that we have been hurt, we should "attack" back as our response to ensure our "safety".
Attack can take many forms (including attack on self!), leading to varied consequences that ultimately bring us further from happiness. When we attack back, do we really protect ourselves from further pain and suffering? Do we gain satisfaction, safety and peace for dishing out what got dished to us? For the three youth that chose to attack back, what if we were able to turn back the clock of time and taught that forgiving was an option they could have chosen over shooting a weapon? Six precious lives would have been saved from tragedy. Can we teach forgiveness as a tool that can bring about understanding and safety instead of conflict and fear?
Forgiveness is not condoning what has been done, but it is a willingness to choose not to suffer, to rise above the hurt, pain and loss that can drown our lives.
Forgiveness unleashes a powerful energy that can then be focused on positive activities in our lives, to move toward embracing love rather than fear, to promote justice, dignity and peace. A quote from the Course In Miracles captures the essence of forgiveness: "The holiest of all the spots on earth is where an ancient hurt has become a present love." When actions are grounded from an intention of forgiveness, nothing will be impossible. Every thought and behavior will be aligned with the greatest power there is: love. Nothing that is touched by this power will escape its influence. Individuals, families, communities and institutions will be transformed in positive, life‑affirming ways.
We can teach our young persons to forgive, and that forgiveness is their natural inheritance.
It will bring them closer to each other and closer to their source of power. Young children are terrific teachers of forgiveness and we can support their learning through reminders of this option. Forgiveness can become a part of our daily vocabulary, just as anger, violence and attack have infiltrated our everyday environment. What if every school teacher began each morning with a simple question to our youth: "Is there anybody we need to forgive today?" Could a simple question posed daily save a lifetime of heartache for our children and ourselves?
The ForgivenessWorks Project seeks to raise the awareness that forgiveness is a valid option for living that increases the health, well‑being and quality of our lives.
The project will teach that forgiveness is a process that can heal our relationships and bring about peace for our community, schools, workplace and homes.
The project will bring together teachers in our local and worldwide community to share powerful stories and methods of their forgiving process. Attitudinal Healing is a second cornerstone. A third cornerstone could be the educational community; a fourth cornerstone the spiritual/religious community; a fifth cornerstone the health community. Finding common ground across the diversity of the community will be both the challenge and the benefit for the project.
Forgiveness is a continuous process, something we can incorporate in our daily rituals. We all need support and gentle reminders that it is an option in everything we think say and do. We are constantly faced with situations where we may feel threatened and "justified" in not wanting to forgive. That is where Attitudinal Healing groups could be helpful in providing a safe environment to learning about forgiveness by sharing and listening and supporting one another. Awareness is the key, that if others have overcome their obstacles to forgiveness then perhaps we can do it, too.
Merton Chinen
The ForgivenessWorks Project
Forgiveness: the Greatest Healer of All
If there was ever a time in our lives, and in the history of the world to stop the recycling our anger, to finally let go of our grievances, to release the painful past, to bring forgiveness and love into our lives, it is obviously now.
The growing problems that face us are not going to be solved by governments alone nor by politicians or more wars. It will take a serious, internal shift of individuals joining each other and uplifting our consciousness to one of forgiveness, love, compassion and a willingness to live in a consciousness of “giving”. Solutions are more abundant than problems when we truly believe in a Divine Source and trust in a loving God becomes all consuming in our lives.
There is a great thirst to understand at both a cognitive as well as emotional level the dynamics of what it truly means to forgive and to be forgiven. There is a hunger to get to know how to get rid of the blocks that often makes forgiving seem so difficult or even impossible for us to do, and to rid ourselves of the emotional and physical trauma that not forgiving causes us.
There is another way of looking at the world where we can choose whether we want to experience peace or conflict, to experience love or fear. We can choose how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world around us. It is these choices, and the willingness and the courage to forgive, that offer us the greatest gift we can give not only to others, but to ourselves.
Let us go beyond ourselves, our families , our communities, our country and reach out to all people of all faiths. Let us see others as not attacking but suffering from lack of love. Let us not exclude anyone from our love or forgiveness. Let us see everyone as our brother and sister; let us see everyone as our Siamese Twin. As we deepen our belief in the power of Love and Forgiveness to heal our lives, the world that we see will heal also.
Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.
Diane V. Cirincione, Ph.D.